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Wednesday, 30 December 2009

Celebrating 2 years of Secured-Risky-Living

Here I am trying to write the last post for 2009 and sitting right next to me is YW, ‘driving’ his F1 car on his PSP. He is hooked on his new game since yesterday. There is always a little child in us I guess.

I know I should not feel this way because I have probably done my very best for 2009. But the melancholic perfectionism cells in me are not totally dead yet, there are always areas that I can pick on myself. (Oh Lord, help me rid of these cells.)

2009 to me is way beyond my own imagination. It was just like taking a risky roller coaster ride but it is secured at the same time as God was driving it.

During the “roller coaster” journey, occasionally I see dangers; sometimes I encounter low and slow movement; at times super fast pace thrilling moments; while other times reverse and backward movement.

Even when God is driving, the journey can still be bumpy. At least this is how I feel along the way. I still experience the fear, sorrow, excitement and discouragement. But through the journey, I have learnt to trust the Driver more and I know it is a secured ride no matter what emotion I am experiencing.

Taking the step of faith to board this ‘roller coaster’ in 2008 was a leap of faith itself for me. Being faithfully with the same Driver for a second year is another great milestone for me. And I am very thankful that the Driver is also very faithful in taking good care of me all this while!

Guess what, I think I will be on this roller coaster ride for a while more, as long as the Driver still wants to take me! This is thus far the best ride I have taken in my life!

Blessed New Year everyone!

Friday, 19 June 2009

My New Friends

It is school holiday! This means R is on holiday! I have a very good reason to take R and my mother out to places that we don’t usually go, especially when we have guest in town!

I think I am as excited as R even though I am 3 times her age. Well, there is always a little child in us. And in front of God, I am always His little girl.

We made a trip to the Underwater World and Dolphin Lagoon!

I am not exactly a ‘sea’ person but I enjoy looking at the sea creatures from the outside, on land AND on dry area. I can’t and I won’t try scuba diving no matter how YW tempts me. (Of course I know how beautiful the sea can be, thanks to National Geographic and Discovery Channel.)

Scuba diving is one thing I can’t do. (Thanks to a very successful movie called JAWS. I really don’t like to lose an arm or a leg. )

Now after a brain surgery, I can officially say I am not fit to dive. (Thank God).

Thanks to my dear sister Js, we had the chance to get close to the sea lion, Analy (We shook hands!!); and the pink dolphin, Pat (Pat is really warm. I mean I know that dolphins are mammal. )

In short, it was a great day at the Underwater World and Dolphin Lagoon, where creations meet! Our mind really cannot fathom how the Creator works. How did He create all the living things.

Tuesday, 26 May 2009

Finding Joy

There is not much good news reported lately. (Well, not that there are more good news other time.)
At times, watching the news can be demoralizing. It started from the economic crisis, to some natural disaster, then back to crisis again, people losing job, tainted food crisis, then back to economic crisis again, and now flu bugs.
I am a melancholic. It is not my nature to always be naturally positive and joyful. I have to conscientiously make 'joyful'' my habit. If I do not know God at this time, I think I will definitely handle the situation in a very different manner, down...
God being God, He knows just how to teach His children through life lessons. I learn how to find joy in life. Nowadays, if my melancholy nature sways me into any negativity again, I always reflect on the powerful lesson God taught me.
With my hair partly shaven, a surgical scar from a brain operation of about 5cm, and the post surgery recovery process, God has all the tools for one of the most important lessons He has for me - to teach me to find joy!
I remember not being able to open my jaw due to a muscle that was operated on. When I was hungry, I have to still sip slowly and not open my mouth and chew and eat at my normal speed. My spinal fluid was contaminated by some blood and hence affected my movement temporarily. I had to be assisted to almost everywhere I need to go, including to the bathroom. I can't drive; I can't get out of the home. I was just not my normal self.
It is also during this time I learn to understand how a patient can easily sink into depression. There are just so many things to adjust.
I cried, "I want to go shopping! I want to do my manicure and pedicure! " I was unhappy and I start to be unreasonable. (I think I was also too free suddenly, on sick leave. )
Did I immediately become more angel like after the miraculous healing I had? Well, no.
And then, in the midst of all my unhappiness, suddenly a thought struck me. (I think this is how the Holy Spirit works for me.)
The thought says, "There is nothing for you to be unhappy about Wei Wei, you are ALREADY ALIVE."
It was not an audible sound from Heaven in a thunderous tone, but this ‘silent thought’ knock my head so hard that I paused for a while and I almost instantly snapped out from all my whining.
And I go like, "You are right! God, You are just so smart!!!!!!" (Of course God is the smartest! )
At that point, I switched from my crying and whining to laughing in joy and celebrating! I was behaving like a little child that found her candy!
"Silly me! I am so silly! God must be looking down from Heaven and laughing at my foolishness!"
I dwell in all the negative and I fail to see that I can see, I can write, I can think, I can breath, I can sing. I have God and I AM alive!! I am complete! I don’t lack anything! How can I not see that?
Life being life surely has its ups and downs. And it is true that the negative part tends to affect us especially people like me. But I learnt that we can find joy in Him!

'You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.' Acts 2:28

Thursday, 30 April 2009

1kg!!!

After much hard work for 2 weeks, I finally lost... 1kg!!!!!!!!!! (My target is only 3kg ha )
It is just so easy to put IMPORTANT things OFF! I learnt so much from my own experience as I was putting exercising off and making myself feel better by saying I was busy and therefore no time to exercise.
"The weather is not right; the traffic is not right for me to drive to the pool; it is too sunny (I don’t want pigmentation!); it is too cold; I am not feeling too well to exercise today; maybe wait till I join the gym; I had such a major surgery I should not be so hard on myself; maybe tomorrow...maybe..."
More often than not, there was never the right condition or the right timing...
And of course, as I put off exercise I put on weights, lots of them, unknowingly, over this one year (Total 8kg!!).
I really cannot remember when did the tummy or the excess flesh and fats start surrounding the lower abdomen and many other unsuitable areas.
It cannot happen overnight but how did it happen without me noticing? (This sounds so much like a subtle bad habit that is slowly creeping into our lives and eventually shattering our lives.)
When 'reality' hits, and when the scale did not stop at where it used to... The final stab into the ‘wound’ was when my hair stylist who also did my hair and makeup for my wedding day says,
“Err you look ‘PUFFY’ nowadays…” (Nice )
That has done it! It is time to start exercising regularly!!
When I start to put 'value' on reducing my weight and get out of my comfort zone, I suddenly found the time I need to exercise. I start solving my excuses for not exercising. I start to take action AND I start to exercise.
After one week, when someone complemented that my face looks smaller a bit, I got so motivated that I increased the duration of my exercise regime. (Positive words really have powerful impact!)
I learnt from this simple incident.
Logically, many know what is important. But, the issue is whether we see a value in doing that important thing.
When we see a value in that something, no matter how illogical or irrational, we will somehow find a way to pursue it.
I learn the true value in eternity and the Kingdom of Heaven after a life and death experience.
Logically, I will not drive 40km just to pick up someone to listen to God’s words. But, I will do it now. And it is worth it. And I do it every week so that my niece R can attend weekly Bible study.
Logically, I will just go home and rest after arriving from an early morning flight. I will not tire myself so much by rushing from airport to pick up a few persons from different places and then rush to, again, listen to God’s words. But, I will do it now. And it is worth it. And, I do it on the very day I return from my monthly business trip.
Logically, after a flat tyre, I will just return home after getting it fix or have all the reason to arrive late. But, we rush to church anyway and still on time for ushering duty.
All I can say now is it is all about where we put the value that change ‘will not’ to ‘will’!
It takes some paradigm shift or ‘value’ shift to really comprehend what the Bible says in Matthew 6:33 "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."

Thursday, 23 April 2009

A Thankful Heart

"Wow, it has been 2 years???"
I tend to get a little excited when April month is approaching.
And now, I find it very challenging to put my feelings into words but I will try.
I am joyful, contented, excited, privileged, motivated... In the end, I came down to one word - THANKFUL!
I am very thankful!!
2007 April 18 - the turning point of my life. A bleeding in the brain due to a birth defect and then a 9-hour brain surgery and most importantly experiencing something that I cannot fathom - the supernatural healing of the Creator.
"2 years. What have I done with the new lease of time that I have? What have I done for God? Did I use my time and my life the way God wants me to?" I kept questioning myself.
If I were to find a title for my 2-year journey, I will call it "The Adventure". It is like Alice in the Wonderland! I simply allow God to lead me. Of course, there are bumpy roads here and there in this 2-year adventure but having God at my side is more than enough. For once, I live by faith (or I hope). :)
I remember 2 years ago, the surgery was like a very heavy downpour which washed a place so clean that even the air felt refreshing! It is as if there is a renewal of the mind. All things about how I want to live my life become plain straight forward.
When my neurologist asked me to go home and think about my new priorities in life after I was permitted to return home from hospital, I already had my answers, it was very clear to me - Faith, Family, Friends. (And now, allow me to add two more, FOOD (Guess this explains the 8kg that I pile on!) and FASHION (It is alright, I need not wear size S all the time.)!!

My Faith
Having the honor and the privilege to "sherpherd sheep". I never feel ready for this role and this is the last ministry I see myself getting into! But I was more willing than anything. So I said YES when the opportunity came. And I am thankful for the opportunity to serve.

I am always very thrilled when there are 'new additions' to the team of sheep. I am thankful that my own sister and brother-in-law came to accept Jesus. God is really good.

To God be the glory! I pray that God help me to be a good sherpherd.

My Family
Taking my mum for a movie with YW makes our day.

Check out that pack of popcorn (YW says the weekly popcorn intake is now at my waistline.).

Having a Valentine Day's date with YW's grandmother was 'romantic' in its own way for YW and I.

And spending lots of precious time with loved ones. They are the people who just drop everything on hand and rush to the hospital bed during critical time.
I am thankful for my family.

My Friends
I am thankful for many wonderful friends that I have!
Of course, my chinchilla Yong Yong!! Yong Yong is a great pal, always listens and only listens (Chinchilla can't talk by the way! Ha!)
But Yong Yong's silent presence is significant especially when there is only me and him in the house most of the time.
At the same time, I have the chance to make so many great friends from different part of the world.

FOOD!
I remember my uncle told me after my surgery that every piece of food that I put into the mouth will never taste the same again because I will appreciate it even more. I agree totally.
I am unleashing my taste bud to taste many different kinds of food that is heavenly made.
Yum Yum and I am thankful.

(Oops, please do not be misled by the limited variety shown in the picture. I do take vegetables too!)

FASHION
Call it vain, but I just enjoy fashion. I collect fashion magazines as I find some of them are very artistically made. The photos, the clothes, the makeup, the setting when put together is an art piece itself.
I am thankful that I get to enjoy fashion and not hospital robes.
And sometimes, I get to see some mini fashion show too!
I am thankful.

My Bonus
I am not referring to company bonus.
Many things in life are a bonus to me.
I can think, I can see, I can speak, I can move freely! I can host!!
Hosting for my beloved younger brother's wedding banquet.

And hosting for many business functions.

Never too late to learn new skill!
I can't believe I started to play cooking game, the real thing, not the DS game!
I told YW that I can use a stainless steel cookware and cook onion egg without having to stir it (Simply put in the onions and then the egg and just leave them alone in the pan, let technology do all the work!) The whole piece of onion egg came out very nice like a piece of pancake AND without sticking to the pan. Washing the pan becomes very easy too! (Hallelujah! With science and technology I can cook too!)
Of course, YW doesn't believe me.
And so, I have to take a picture of my dish as an evidence.
I must admit I have been very clumsy in the kitchen but I am enjoying myself so much!!

My Reward
AND to celebrate my 2-year adventure, (and yes old habit dies hard), I color my hair! (Finally!! After 2 years!!!) I know I am not supposed to for the health of the scalp but the whole process was very safe, the chemical did not touch the scalp. I am just highlighting my hair!
I am very thankful!
God, thank You for everything.